…I’ll just jump right into it… I receive my sides (short section of the script) last night, decline plans for leisure activities to study my lines, get my world in order, and prepare for one of the ‘auditions of a lifetime.’ All the duck’s are in a row as they say. I wake up drive to the airport, steadily rehearsing in my head, while also remembering to do my intention statements. I mean I was really prepared for success. Fast forward to the audition itself… I draw a blank on the most crucial part of the scene… not once… not twice… not thrice.. but yes FIVE times! Stuart Akins, a wonderful casting director and man, was pulling for me, I could see it in his eyes, but for some reason, all I could manage to do in this minute was fail.

Now this failure hit me harder than i would have expected, while I walked the rainy streets of Vancouver with tears in my eyes, and my wife’s voice in my ear; it dawned on me, for the longest time I have been taking success for granted. I never really envisioned failing (which I still think is a good thing) for I always assumed internal success, and when it is assumed, it feels like there may have been a lack of gratitude for the work it took to create.

It was almost as if success was not an option for me today; however, in realizing that, I feel a small victory in my soul as I head for bed to rest. My focus now, where it currently belongs… on the track… look out people of Guadeloupe, Jesse has redemption on his mind!

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